The Beginning of The End
by MyWishForYou
Summary: “Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days…” Now that I think about it, I’ve had an awful lot of those days in the past. [Future fic, married Jake and Miley]
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a story I've had planned for a while, but just decided to make the plunge to post online. **

**Here's the background of this story: This first chapter is told from Miley's point of view, but I'm not sure if it will stay like that. This chapter is pretty much the prologue, with no dialogue, but the rest of the chapters will be different. This story is gonna be a long one, probably set up into two or tree different stories incase this one gets too long for my liking. And this chapter does seem a little weird, but it'll get better. **

**This is Miley (or whoever else's POV you see) reflecting on life from many years later. How many? Well, you'll find out sometime. **

* * *

If someone asked me if I thought that my life would turn out this way when I was 14, I probably would have just stared blankly and laughed as if it were the most illegitimate question ever. 

At that point I thought people with big families had lost their minds when they made their decision to do so.

Have I lost my mind? Well, I very well may have, but I sure haven't regretted it.

Jake and I married right out of high school, because we figured that if we didn't do it then, it would never happen.

In retrospect, my logic was pretty well… un-logical. I figured that if it didn't turn out to be the relationship made in heaven, we could always get a divorce. That never ended up happening, but I still can laugh at how naïve and stupid we were about life.

The date we got married was July 1, 2010. I like to call it a scheduled elopement. We had the date picked out for about 2 months and hardly anyone knew. Alright, so half of our graduating class knew, if not more and some teachers. Possibly the principal, as he seemed to just "know" everything.

But that was all Lilly's fault anyway. We made the mistake of telling her before it actually happened. And the nurse knew all of the details; she was the one who suggested it in the first place. I'm not sure why we actually agreed to what she said, but we were crazy teenagers who didn't really know what we were getting into.

But my point is that my father and brother didn't know, and neither did Jake's folks. Who knew a bunch of seniors could really keep a secret.

We pulled it off as if it were really just a spur of the moment decision, the only people there being the priest and Lilly. We could _not_ risk leaving Lilly alone while something that huge was going on. So we just brought her along. It didn't seem to do any harm.

My father, surprisingly, didn't seem to be too mad about me and Jake "eloping". He didn't even seem shocked. I still wonder if he knew - or Jackson figured it out and told him – and just let us have our fun. Or maybe he just knew it was right. Maybe he just kept his calm until I left the room and he… attacked the couch and mentally cursed us then, or something.

I'm not sure, and honestly, I don't want to know. I'll just pretend he's been happy for us all these years, even if he really hasn't.

We agreed not to have kids until at least five or ten years after our marriage, so we could go to collage (we both ended up getting into UCLA) and so Jake could continue being an actor, and I could continue being Hannah Montana for a few more years, which I thought would be my last.

The whole "5-10 years" thing didn't really happen. On April 1, 2013 my oldest child, a daughter, was born. What an April Fools day surprise _that_ was. She was born 3 weeks early, so I was convinced that it wasn't really happening, but Jake was the one who said "Just in case, Miles, I think this is real," and got me to the hospital in time.

During this pregnancy, early in it of course, I still decided to be Hannah as long as I could last. I was careless and realized why I had spent all that time in previous years making sure the wig was truly _on_. The world was pretty shocked at first when they found out Hannah was Miley, or Miley was Hannah.

I got a _lot_ of hate mail within that next year or so, but eventually they let me come back, or I let myself rather. Every once in a while I'll do a concert, and I release albums every two years or so.

The beginning of the story I'm trying to get across starts in early September 2021, so I'll describe my kids as they were at that time.

My oldest, Taylor Samantha. She had always been my mini-me, from the day she was born, Jake said that there were probably no differences about us. He started worrying about her teenage years at probably the same instant. From the curly brown hair, precisely the some shade, to the greeny-blue eyes, our looks were the same.

She was a trickster – a trouble maker – but she meant well. She wouldn't really mean to hurt a person, for instance, but sometimes it just happened. She kept me alert, because I never knew what exactly would happen. She and I did a lot together. We always seemed to get along well. People told me that she was the perfect child. Others told me she was an unruly child. All I figured is that she was _mine_, and that was all that mattered.

The next two, Christine Leslie and Micaela Marie, twin girls, were born on May 12, 2016. Christine, or Christi as we've always called her, was smarter than I could even imagine. She had a high IQ, borderline genius, and she was tested at age 4. She could read and do integers at 4. She ended up skipping kindergarten because we knew that she would be bored there. She was always so charming and loving. Christi had the best hair. Dark blonde, thin, and silky soft. It was straight, but if I played with it while it was wet I could get it to curl up easily. She rarely let me do that because she was never into "girly stuff" so she wouldn't let me do anything to it.

Micaela, who ended up being called Caela and then Shaela, was always so talkative. She started talking before she was one and hadn't stopped since. She could literally talk from the moment she woke up until she mumbled herself to sleep. She had always entertained us with the phrases that she said. She'd always been able to talk herself out of a situation (occasionally _into_ one). Shaela was the social one, while Christi was quiet and preferred to be alone. Unlike Christi, Shaela loved her brown hair looking "pretty", so I often French braided her and Taylor's hair.

When Shaela was almost 3, we realized that she wasn't growing a much or a fast as Christi was. I thought that she was just going to be short, like Taylor was short. But I realized that Taylor was always small, Shayla started out pretty big – in the 95th percentile for height, she just didn't stay that way. On April 14, 2019, after days and days of tests, she was diagnosed with Pituitary Dwarfism. That is when the body doesn't produce enough growth hormone to keep growing. She had to have nightly shots of artificial growth hormone for years.

Christi and Shaela did look a lot alike, even if they weren't identical. Besides their height difference and their hair color, you could really tell that they were sisters. Their face shapes were identical as were their blue eyes and skin colors. They always seemed to even tan the same way at the same time.

Jessica Suzanne was born September 25, 2017. She was always such a happy child. The terrible two tantrums never really happened with Jessi. The middle name "Suzanne" came from my mom, Susan, "Jessica" from Jake's mother. She always reminded me of her, my mother I mean. Not only did they look a bit alike, apparently she that the same cheery disposition Jessi had. I like to think she got it from me, but actually, not that I think about it, I think I might have gotten it from her. She was so easily loved, I remember around this time she told me "Everyone loves Jessi," and she was right. I told her this when she was older and all she could say was "Well, it's true."

She had thick dark hair that was as straight as could be, like my mom. I'd have to remember back to that class I took as a junior, but I don't think it's possible for two blue eyes people to produce a brown eyed child, but it happened for us. God knows where Jessi's chocolate brown eyes came from. Jake was convinced that she wasn't his at one point, but alas she is. It would make life a little more interesting if she wasn't, though.

That September, my youngest was Alyson Denise, born January 1, 2020, only about 20 months old. Nici, what we often called her, was a pretty good baby, actually more of a toddler at that point, basically took was we gave her. The terrible twos for her, we were hoping would go like Jessi's. At 20 months she was more interesting in mobile skills than verbal ones. She could probably could say a lot more words than she did, but at that point she would only say about 3 words on her own, maybe 5 others on command. She had a few words that had a double meaning, like I remember "Lala" was both juice and Shaela.

But she loved to run and climb on everything. I remember one day I found her jimmied up a curtain. She could kick a ball farther than I could and had a great overhand through. She had bright blonde hair that curled slightly, that came from Jake's side somewhere, and the rest of the family's (besides unique little Jessi) blue eyes.

When Shaela was diagnosed with Pituitary Dwarfism I though tit was the end of the world. I knew it wasn't life threatening, but that didn't mean much to me. There was something wrong with _my baby_. Something that would affect her for the rest of her life.. She would _always_ look about two years younger. Her bones were just that size.

"_Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days_…" Now that I think about it, I've had an awful lot of those days in the past.

September 2021. That's when the story begins. When I reflect on this part of my life I like to label it "The Beginning of The End."

* * *

**When I was writing this, I was nearly done when the power conveniently went out. I stupidly didn't save any of it, so I had to rewrite it. So I really hope at least _someone_ wants more. Or I would have wasted a lot of time. I have the first chapter too, but I'm not posting it until I'm almost done with the 2nd and so on. **


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter is mostly dialogue – the complete opposite than the last chapter, but in the future I'll focus more on the thoughts of the characters. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything Disney related in this chapter. Including the High school Musical reference I put in.**

Chapter 1

* * *

[Saturday, September 4, 2021 

"Mommy, are you _sure_?" Shaela asked me from her carseat.

"Sorry hun, I don't think there's such thing as a cross between a cat and a rabbit," I told her, "I think that was just a really big rabbit."

"Oh. But _could_ there be?"

"No, Shae. Mom _just_ said," Taylor said.

We had just come back from the mall. My three oldest kids and I. We had only gone into a few stores, and the only thing we bought was shoes and food.

Christi desperately wanted to go into the Get-A-Pet store, and we saw a rabbit about the same size as the cage it was in.

"What about a dog and a rabbit?" Shaela asked me.

"Nope."

"Mummy, can you turn on the Disney station?" Christi said, motioning to the radio on the dashboard.

The song that played was a remake of "The Start of Something New" originally from High School Musical 1. Another movie had recently come out: "High School Musical: The Next Generation."

If I've learned one thing over the years it's that Disney never gives up.

They put all of the original stars in the movie, not as their old characters of course, because that would be obvious. I remember one interview with Zac Efron said that he was willing to come back as Troy Bolton, but nope. The character Troy Bolton wasn't even in the film.

Zac Efron was cast as the father of the female lead. Even though to have a 16 year old kid at 34, he'd have to be 18 when she was born, and he was older than that while making the_ original_ movies. The mother was of the female lead was Ashley Tisdale. I guess the Disney people just made it that way for the parents to laugh and remember at.

Shaela's questions about cross-bred species had seized, the three of them reverted to belting out the song that all kids across America knew by heart. Same words, but slightly different music to the song that kids knew by heart 15 years earlier.

_'Gosh, I feel old,' _I thought. Which was actually untrue, now that I think about it. I was only 29.

"THIS COULD BE THE START! OF SOMETHING NEW! IT FEELS SO RIGHT TO BE HERE WITH YOUU! OH OHHH!"

They song incredibly off pitch and too loud for their own good, which would be the musician in me talking, but no less, it was absolutely the most adorable thing I ever saw.

"OH! YEAA! NOW WHO'D OF EVER THOUGHT THAT. WE'D BOTH BE HERE TONIGHT. OOH, YEA. AND THE WORLD LOOKS SO MUCH BRIGHTER, BRIGHTER, BRIGHTER, WITH YOU BY MY SIDE. I KNOW, THAT SOMETHING HAS CHANGED, NEVER FELT THIS WAY, AND RIGHT HERE TONIGHT…"

I reminded myself to record all three of them singing it later.

I wish I ended up doing it.

* * *

[Sunday, September 5, 2021 

I loved boys. Baby boys, that is, that's why I was so glad when Lilly and Oliver had two boys.

We were standing in the back yard of Lilly and Oliver's house. Their 7 month old was balanced on my hip. My favorite age for babies, about 7 – 10 months.

"I mean really, I've always wanted a boy," I said.

"You can have him," Oliver muttered. Lilly have him a look, "I was kidding," he said defensively.

Lilly smiled, "Maybe your next one."

Jake looked at me in shock, "I can promise you, there's not be a next one."

I laughed and looked at the infant in my arms, "I'm good with Logan here. And Austin."

Austin had turned 3 the month before, and was an absolutely gorgeous little boy. He had wavy blonde hair to die for and a smile that would light up a room. From the start I had called him a Hollister model in training.

Logan, even at such a young age, was exactly like Oliver. I could just tell that he was going to grow up like him. They were identical in looks, and even Logan being a baby, they still acted the same.

"Mommy come here!" I heard Shaela call me, I walked over.

She was standing under the trapeze bar on the swing set that was recently placed in the yard for Austin. It was high, higher than Austin would be able to reach for another 4 years or so.

The bar was up about 5 and a half feet in the air. The bottom of the handles were down another 8 inches. Shaela leaped up to try to reach the handles. She missed by a lot, as she was only about 3'2 or so at that point.

"Why is it up so high?" I questions Lilly or Oliver who were sitting over on the porch.

Lilly snorted, "He wanted to use it," she said pointing at her husband, "so he cut the chain."

"Mommy help!" Shaela called.

"I think your too short, honey."

"Just lift me up so I can grab the handles," she retorted.

"I'm holding the baby," I tell her.

"Put him in his swing."

I did just so. She struggled to do anything one she hung onto the handles.

"I can't do it mommy," she said as she dropped several inches to the ground.

"I can!" Christi shouted.

She walked in front of Shaela. She was at least 6 inches taller than her sister, if not more, and she only had to go up on her tiptoes and stretch to reach.

She swung back and forth with her arms and tucked her legs over the bar.

That's where she spent the rest of that afternoon.

[2 hours later

Jessi was half asleep in my arms.

It was 9pm, and Jake had already headed home with Shaela and Alyson. We lived down the street from them. It was a large hill, starting with Lilly's and ending with ours. It was a killer to get up walking, but easy on the way back down.

I told them that we had to go, and we headed down the road.

"Sorry, Jess, you're gonna have to walk the rest of the way. You're getting too heavy for me," I said, setting the small girl on the ground and grabbing her hand with the one I wasn't holding onto Christi with. She didn't seem to mind.

"My leg hurts," Christi complained.

"Just one? Or both?"

"Just this one," she stopped and wiggled her right leg in front of her.

"It's probably just from running around all day. You were on the swing set a whole lot," I told her.

"No," she said, looking up at me in the dark, "this is a different kind of hurt."

* * *

**I'll try to update every day if I can. Maybe every other day. Until school starts any way. I've basically got the 3nd chapter, and I'll start the 4rd today, so maybe if I finish that I'll post the next.**

**Has any one else had trouble uploading documents? I've had to copy and paste into an old one for the last ones.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry I didn't update in a couple days, I've been trying to fit in a much as I can the last few days of summer. This will be short. **

* * *

[Monday, September 6, 2021

We got off to a bad start that morning. Christi had a full blown temper tantrum because she didn't want to go to school. That kid _loved_ school, though. Probably more than any other child in the district.

I pulled into the parking lot of the school. I had gotten Christi to calm down and agree to go to school.

We were about 20 minutes late. School started at a very early 7:55, and until 8:10 was homeroom.

It was about 8:15.

I signed in Taylor, Christi, and Shaela's names at the main office.

They handed the tree of them late slips, "Go ahead," I told them.

I watched them get to their classrooms. The kindergarten rooms were in the main hallway, the same one the office was, so Shaela went into her classroom first. Christi slowly walked into the first grade hallway, which was the first one next to the office. The third grade wing was on the other side of the school, and I saw Taylor disappear around a corner.

Then I left.

--

[4 hours later

Jessi was sitting on my lap playing on the computer when the phone rang. I moved Jessi from under me and walked across the kitchen to answer the phone.

The caller id read the school's name.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Miley Ryan?"

"This is she."

"This is Mrs. Carter, the school nurse at Malibu Elementary. Your daughter Christi…"

Apparently she went to the nurse with a low grade fever, a sore throat, and was complaining of horrible leg pain. I had to go pick her up.

I wish that I hadn't of sent her to school that day. But that would just be blaming myself for what happened, when it wasn't my fault in the least.

I had to bring Jessi and Alyson with me too, which they were not happy about, I remember.

When I arrived at the nurse's office in the school, there was a boy, maybe 4th grade, with an ice pack on his arm, a boy Taylor's age explaining an accident that happened in gym class, and a girl about Christi's grade waiting to be "served". But no Christi.

I must of looked confused because the nurse said, "Christi's getting her things from her classroom. You can go down and see her and check out at the main office."

I nodded motioning to Jessi and grabbing Alyson's hand.

As soon as Christi saw me in the hallway she started sobbing.

--

[Tuesday, September 7, 2021

"She said it was just an infection of some kind."

I was talking to Jake on the phone driving home from the doctors.

"Did he put on something?"

"Yeah, I forget what it's called, but it's for her throat. And the pain in her leg was probably just growing pains, or something from the infection."

I thought that was that. She had a virus or something and the medicine would clear it up in a few days.

I _thought_.

**

* * *

**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm sooooo sorry about not updating before now! I have virtually no time… I'll get one up once a week maybe. This'll be short too, but it's better than nothing. **

[Wednesday, September 8, 2021

Christi missed school that Tuesday, as well as Wednesday.

At 6pm that afternoon her fever, which had been about 99-100 degrees the days before, had shot to 103 and wasn't breaking.

She wasn't as miserable as I would have expected her to be. She had a low tolerance of pain at that point. A hangnail could have her crying for hours. She seemed to be fine.

I figured she'd be okay, as long as the fever didn't go any higher.

I had just gotten her settled on the couch with a box of saltines and Toy Story playing on the TV.

I had just barely left the room when I heard I sound I wish I never had to experience.

Screaming. Loud hysterical screaming.

I rushed back in the living room to see tears running down her face.

"My tummy hurts mommy, my tummy!" she shrieked.

I tried to calm her down.

I don't know how, but she ended up falling asleep. It could have been from the medicine she had taken, but I have to say that she was just physically exhausted. Her body just couldn't handle being conscious anymore.

I watched her for a few minutes after I was sure she had fallen asleep. The quilt that I had placed on her petite body had been kicked off, and was now lying on the floor. I didn't pick it up. I knew she was hot.

Her chest rhythmically rose and fell; the only sound being her gentle breathing and Woody rambling away on the TV.

She had eaten two of the crackers I had given her. That, and an ice cream sandwich the night before, being the only food she had eaten since a bit of breakfast on Monday morning, 2 days earlier.

Jake got home at about 6:30. I told him about how Christi was feeling.

"Think we should take her to the ER?" He had asked.

I shook my head, "Probably won't do any good. Remember the other times we've gone? They've just sent us home," Christi had back problems and pain in April and May of that month, and it brought us to the ER many times, "If it gets any worse, maybe… But I think she'll be fine."

We ate dinner without her. Shaela had asked over and over again why her sister wasn't eating, and why she was so sleepy. I think she new exactly what was going on.

It was about midnight. Maybe later. I don't remember exactly. Christi had hardly stirred from her place on the couch until that time.

I was laying in bed, too worried about her to fall asleep. I'm glad I didn't fall asleep. Then maybe I wouldn't have heard her struggling to breathe.

Our bedroom was on the first floor of our home, just a few feet away from where Christi was lying on the couch.

I heard her gasping for air. Wheezing and crying between every labored breath. I ran to see if she was okay, Jake following closely behind.

I couldn't see her face at first, as it was dark, but she was crying and tell me, "I just can't breathe, mommy, I just can't."

A glimpse of light streamed on her face. She look horror stricken, absolutely terrified and panicked. Obviously in distress.

"I'm taking her to the emergency room," I said scooping her up in my arms, "You stay here."

Jake didn't say a thing.

* * *

**Just so you know, the story is gonna be kinda tragic... it's not gonna be all "Oh, everything is gonna be okay! Let's go home and live happily every after." There's not gonna be a happily ever after. If you want to ask me and questions or guess what is happening please PM me instead of leaving it in a review, I don't wan to possibly spoil things. But everything else I'd love you you to reveiw about. Thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5

[Wednesday, September 8, 2021

I must of drove through about 4 red lights that night. I hardly remember that night at all. I didn't even remember how late at night it was when I drove her in until I received her medical records years after the event.

I had lifted her out of her car seat and the last thing I clearly remember about that night was Christi saying "I'm scared."

She wasn't looking at me, but above me into the dark, starry, night sky. She stared at the sky for a few seconds, blankly. No tears or screams of agony. It was like she was saying, 'I'll be there soon God.' I have a feeling she knew what was going to happen. I'm not sure if those two words she spoke were to me or someone else…

The rest of the night was a blur, really.

They had taken her after about 15 minute of waiting. I had told them about the fever, how she hadn't eaten much, and that she was having difficulty breathing. I suppose I must have filled out hospital forms as well, but I don't remember doing so.

We got a room in the ER that she shared with a few other people.

Their initial thought was that it was a ruptured appendix. A nurse had stuck a shiny long needle in her arm to draw blood. She screamed louder than she had before when that happened. Now that I think about it, I'm glad she screamed at that. It meant that she was at least somewhat aware of her surroundings, not completely out of it.

The blood work came back normal. Her appendix was fine. She was admitted to the hospital, in her own room.

The words, "It's not her appendix," where the very beginning of the hell we've endured since that very moment.

[Thursday, September 9, 2021

Monday was an uneventful day. Sometime during the night Jake had come in. I don't remember exactly when, but I had called him to tell that she was admitted and he needed to get down there. Only one parent was allowed to stay in the room with her, but we didn't care. Jake, I think, sent the other kids to Lilly and Oliver's.

I woke up at 8am on the dot to a few nurses taking Christi's vitals. I only had a few hours of sleep.

"Christ's CT scan will be in a few hours. The doctor will come in with some contrast for her to drink in a few minutes," the nurse told me.

A couple minutes later Dr. Davis, who ended up being her doctor for the time we were at the local hospital in Malibu, shows up to give Christ the oral, liquid contrast dye she had to take in order for the CT.

He places the glass at her lips, Christi reluctantly took a sip.

"Ew!" She shouted, "I'm not drinking this!" The doctor expertly poured it down her throat and rubbed her neck, making her swallow.

"You need to go down for her to get more contrast at 11. The scan should bee around 11:45. She can't eat until after the scan."

"But she hasn't eaten breakfast!" I said.

"Yes she has," Jake told me, "A few hours ago."

"That stuff was gross," she told me as soon as the doctor left.

[11:50

Christi was lying on the scanner table with her arms over her head. The table she was lying on slowly started to roll into the tube, which was the scanner itself.

The doctor looked at the screen ponderously.

"There's something there… at the top," he said pointing to a spot above her heart.

**All the medical information is real, and it's going to be throughout the story. I'll tell you if I made it up, but I didn't here. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while. They will start to become more frequent. Probably another update tomorrow or later today. Sorry this is short. **

[Friday, September 10, 2021

The next morning she had another CT scan, just as horrible as an experience as the last. They said that the little something that they found the day before was just a shadow of her heart.

We were told we could leave that day, as there was nothing wrong. I thought that we were done with that .That Christi was going to be okay. That there was really nothing wrong.

Of course I was completely out of line thinking that. Life's never that easy.

I was sitting on Christi's very first hospital bed when I got the news. Morphine was pumping into her tiny body trying to keep the pain away.

I was flipping through a magazine when a doctor, a nurse and two people I have yet to identify walked through the door. I suppose they were counselors of some sort, but I didn't care at the time.

"Your daughter Christi," the doctor began, glimpsing at the little girl, just barely conscious, "has a tumor along her spine and heart. It is about 3 inches long. It is very likely cancerous."

I went numb. The words garbled in my head, my brain not able to comprehend. I shot my head at Jake, who had the same confused look.

"W-what?" was all I could muster up to say.

"We are transferring her to the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles. The doctors there have been notified." He gave us some information on what to do upon arrival. As they left the doctor nodded at me as if to say 'Good day'.

It was obviously not a 'good' day.

We quickly drove home. I packed a suitcase and locked up the house while Jake ran down to Lilly and Oliver's to say hi to the kids and explain what was going on.

I'll never forget the long drive to CHLA. Jake drove while I sat in the back holding Christi. Long tears flowed out of all of our eyes. Our life was shattered. Nothing would ever be the same again.

I don't think I had a clue what was going on. Christi was in a great deal of pain, no matter what they gave her.

When we got to the Children's hospital they seemed to be waiting for us.

"Oh, we have been expecting you. I'll show you to the room you will be staying in."

That nurse was abnormally cheery. Jake carried my 5 year old daughter in his arms as she hurt too bad to walk.

Room 611 west. That was the room number. I remember clearly how the room smelled. The fragrance is still fresh on my nose. It didn't smell like any other hospital room I've been in since that day. It's like they made it special because they knew that Christi deserved something nice because her life would never be too nice again.

"She'll have many tests the next few days. Most will be tomorrow. The doctor will fill you in on exactly what bit later," the nurse went on, "Someone will get Christine some morphine in a little while. Is there anything I can get you?"

I shook my head. The nurse left the room with a sympathetic smile.

Even after she left the room I continued shaking my head, "This can't be happening," I whispered. Christi was already asleep in the bed.

Not my kid, I thought, she must be fine. This had to be a mistake.

If only it was…


	7. Chapter 7

**Short chapter that I was going to triple but never had time. I'm so sorry. I'll have a big update eventually, but I don't know when. I haven't given up, so I wanted to post a little something to tell you all I'm still here. **

* * *

[Sunday, September 12, 2021 

September 12. That was the first full day that my little girl had cancer. That we knew about anyway. It was determined to be in her body for at least a year before.

The day before she had an MRI. Scary for any one to go through, never mind my 5 year old kid. I had to leave her alone in the room while she was refusing to get an IV in her arm.

"You stick that in my and I'll stick that in you and see how you like it!" she had yelled. The nurses had enough time struggling with her they told me to go away and they'd strap her down to try to get her sedated enough for the scan.

They never ended up sedating her completely.

At that point we knew it was cancer. A sweet nurse had told us what they thought it was a while before. "Neuroblastoma". The only thing I could think to do was ask for the spelling. The only thing we didn't know was how far it had spread.

I sent my computer off to search for the cancer and the results weren't good. There was no cure. It was rare that someone would survive this.

After the MRI we were told that it had spread very far, metastasized, and she had hardly any good cells left in her bone marrow because it was just full of cancer. They gave us the option to treat and if we did, the protocol would last about 10 months.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into on 9/11/21. The day that Christi "got" cancer. Jake and I argued that the treatment might not even be worth it. She was in such pain and it was so bad that we though that it might just make matters worse and the quality of life would be horrible for her in intense chemotherapy. But we figured if we didn't. If we hadn't, she'd be dead and buried within weeks.

Also on the 11th they told up that her main tumor was all around her heart, aorta, and esophagus. They were almost 99 percent positive that it was Neuroblastoma. But they had to get a piece of it out to be sure.

That was happening on the 12th.

The surgery was at noon.


End file.
